News: Motherhood

Before I had children, I made my share of "when I have kids, we will/will not xyz" comments. Some, I've been able to stick too, like getting them on a good sleep schedule in their own beds. Others are a work in progress (so much for being stringent about screen time!).

One thing I thought for sure though was that I wouldn't experience separation anxiety. After all, a little distance is healthy, right? No child ever cried themselves to death. It builds their independence. They develop coping mechanisms. Etc, etc. Only when I actually had my first son, did I realize just how heart-wrenching it would feel for ME to leave him- even if only for a few hours!

I am one of the lucky ones that has had the option to stay at home with my children while working part-time on Nona. After starting my career in an industry that demanded long days for months on end (in Manhattan no less, where 2 incomes often isn't sufficient), I saw a glimpse of what could have been my life, and in no way take my situation for granted. Now that the kids are 4 and 2, I'm making the transition to working a more complete work week. Again, all my choice and on my own timeline. In this day and age, that is quite the luxury. Many other mom's don't have this flexibility. The lack of standardized maternity leave in the US is appalling, forcing 25% of new mom's back to work after only TEN DAYS. I was still walking like a penguin 10 days post-partum! New York State recently instituted a mandated paid leave policy for 8 weeks which began in January 2018 and will increase to a maximum of 12 weeks by 2021. This is a start but other states need to follow suit and it still leaves America much farther down the list of standardized maternity/paternity leave benefits than any other developed country. 

This leaves most families dependent on their employer's individual policy. I had read about a few companies making major exceptions to accommodate families- Patagonia and Rachel Zoe immediately came to mind with their onsite facilities to care for the children of employees, but then I stumbled across this Pop Sugar article titled: This New Mom is Applying to Jobs With Her Baby- Here's Why Companies Should Take Her Seriously.

The article opens by describing how job hunter Meesha Chang includes her daughter's 'qualifications' right alongside her own on her resume as she is only entertaining opportunities that will allow her daughter to come to work with her. My initial thought was "WTF? How does that work?" but then as I read through the article, I began an internal slow-clap for Meesha as I realized what guts it takes to not only put the question out there, but to stick to her guns. She is completely unapologetic for prioritizing her career and her child equally and doesn't worry about any potential push-back she may receive. Why? Because, it actually may benefit these companies to take her request seriously and implement comprehensive policies re: children in the workplace for ALL new parents.

Off the bat, the brain-drain of mom's deciding to leave their careers in favor of staying with their children would decrease, therefore employee retention would increase. The impending doomsday feeling of returning to work after maternity leave ends would no longer be an issue, and therefore, potentially encourage a return to work earlier with a cost-savings benefit for the company, and of course, create a happier environment/lift employee morale all around, because babies are magical! 

I still vividly recall the manic dash that the working mom's in my offices made each day to catch their trains home. Most, if not all, were living in the various suburbs of NYC at that point, whether in NJ, Long Island, Connecticut, or in the Upstate area. All had commutes of minimum 1 hour. This crazy ritual they practiced every single day landed them home just in time to perhaps bathe their child and kiss them goodnight. When I think about what a game-changer it would have been for them to collect their baby from the onsite nursery versus rushing off to daycare, and spend that hour on the train bonding instead of anxiously trying to rush through their door, I realize that this is a real request with real benefits and that anyone making this request is trying to pioneer change not just for her own benefit, but to shape a new way of thinking about work/life/balance for all parents.  

1.Homemade Granola: I can't bring myself to spend $$$ on store-bought granola when homemade is so simple and frankly, so much yummier. All three of my guys basically eat this every.single.day for breakfast. I just make tweaks based on what I have in the house. 

2. Fried Rice, Egg, and Avocado Bowl: On the off-chance that someone prefers eggs to granola, or I just plain forgot to meal-plan something for lunch, this is an easy go-to. We typically make a big batch of brown rice at the beginning of the week and can always throw together a bowl with egg and avocado, or any other veggies we have on hand.

3. Chicken Tikka Masala: This is seriously such a hit in my house. If we've overdone it on the meat for the week, we'll switch this to a vegetarian version. 

4. Whole30 Pumpkin Chili: A great way to sneak in some extra nutrients with creamy pumpkin. It sounds like a weird combination, but trust me- this will end up on your weekly menu plan!

5. Fiery Hot Chicken Chili: My mother in law actually made this recipe for me several years ago and we've been hooked ever since. I usually tweak it by subbing ghee or avocado oil for the butter, and omitting the sugar. I also sometimes sub veggies for the chicken in my quest to eat more plant-based. The combination of spices gives this a super addicting flavor, and despite the name, it's actually not that spicy.

6. French Lentil Soup: Beans in general are a big hit with my kids, and they especially love this lentil soup. We make it vegetarian, or sometimes crumble sausage into it for a heartier meal, and serve over rice. 

7. Almond Crusted Chicken: A healthier take on chicken fingers, this is actually one of my favorite meals- delicious with or without the strawberry balsamic sauce.

8. Stuffed Zucchini: My kids would never voluntarily eat zucchini, but the "boat" shape of these makes them fun to gobble up.

9. Savory Paleo Breakfast Meatballs: Amazing for breakfast, lunch, dinner, whatever. 

10. Ina Garten's Roasted Chicken aka "Engagement Chicken": Whether you're looking to get engaged or just feed some picky eaters, this engagement chicken recipe will do the trick (it worked for me in both instances!).

11. Easy Fried Rice: If you need a very basic meal with a twist, this is your go-too. Make a big batch like we do, and you can use it all week as your base for any rice bowl you need to throw together. Having this on hand has saved me for many meals when I'm not on point with my meal-planning game. 

12. Beef Stir-fry: Our kids have been eating flavors like soy, ginger, and garlic since they were little thanks to their chinese grandmother, so they love a good stir-fry. The good thing about stir-fry's is that you can use whatever you have on hand and make it as basic or complicated as you want.  

13. Banana Chocolate Ice Cream: If you have a high-speed blender, and some ripe bananas, then you can make banana ice cream and add whatever you want to flavor it. Normally, I have cacao powder so that's what my kids get. They literally love this just as much as the real thing, and I love that it's a vegan treat.

14. Chocolate Peanut Butter Avocado Pudding: The Minimalist Baker Blog is one of my favorite food go-too's when I need inspiration, and this recipe is no different. Once again, it's very simple and I usually have the ingredients on hand but if nothing else, you can blend avocados/cacao powder/sweetener of choice and have an amazing chocolate pudding. 

Do you think you'll try any of these with your children? What are some other recipes that you swear by in your house? Let us know in the comments!

Header image c/o Glamour.com

One of the biggest challenges many parents face is dealing with mealtimes and picky eaters. It certainly was one of my fears before having my first son, and something that I really wanted to bypass if at all possible. Building a foundation to have a healthy, robust eater in the house is definitely a process, but with both of my children I have seen that it's totally possible to create good eating habits at a young age. I'm very lucky in that I think I was blessed with fairly adaptable children, but I also created a few guidelines that encouraged their good eating habits. Below is a list of things that worked for me- every child is so different, so I can't say it's failproof, but if you're struggling to find creative ways to feed your child, this may offer up some inspiration. 

1) You Don't Necessarily Have To Start With Rice Cereal

Right around the time I was starting my oldest on solid foods, the  dietary recommendations for introducing foods were changing from exclusively offering carbohydrates like rice cereal and plain oatmeal to foods with slightly more complex nutrient profiles like fruits and vegetables. I never saw the need to begin with cereal's as I knew my son would be fine digesting avocado, so that's what I started with (I did this with my 2nd son as well). Both have gone through phases where they ate copious amounts of this fruit, to months where they wouldn't consider eating it. At 2 and 4 years old, we are currently in a 'love' phase where they both go crazy over having guacamole as a side to whatever meal they're eating. As a mom, you need to trust your gut- if you think cereal would be safer to start with, or something different like sweet potato, homemade unsweetened applesauce, etc. go with it!

2) Show Them That You Also Eat Healthy

Setting a good example for your children can go a long way. Mine constantly saw me drinking green smoothies and it was only a matter of time before they started asking for a sip here/there and then it became a regular part of their routine. My oldest son actually calls them green milkshakes because to him, that is the only milkshake he knows! He is at the age where he wants to be big and strong just like daddy, so knows he has to eat his vegetables to achieve this. We've also been known to foster a little sibling rivalry by reminding him that his younger brother may just grow up to be bigger with all the veggies he's eaten and that always lights a little fire to finish his plate!

3) Don't Let Them Snack Their Appetite Away

I purposely held off on keeping snacks everywhere (thanks to Bringing Up Bebe) until my kids had their meal habits pretty established. I think my son was about 18 months before I bought cereal puffs/puree pouches for the 1st time and that was only to keep him occupied on a long flight. I never offered them anything in the stroller as infants, nor the carseat. Now, I'm much more lax because I know they won't opt to snack in place of eating meals. 

4) Juice Is A Treat, Not An Everyday Thing

Water is the most-requested things my kids want and I made sure to encourage that from the 12 month mark when we introduced non-breastmilk liquids. I actually hate the idea of juice boxes, and only allow them here/there when we are at playdates or birthday parties. In our house, we sometimes stock freshly-squeezed juices (the perks of living in South America where this is as common as having Coca Cola). If they want a little juice, that's ok but I make sure to dilute it with water before serving it. 

5) Offer New Foods To Them At Every Possible Opportunity, Along with "Safe Foods"

They can't try something if you don't offer it. My son got a tiny piece of plain lettuce with a carrot stick on his plate every night for weeks before I could get him to try it- along with foods I knew he already enjoyed. The salad inevitably got left on the plate, but little by little I convinced him to try it. Now, he eats a small plate of salad most nights. If he has indulged earlier in the day, he knows the salad will be a bit bigger to compensate. My 2 year old is in the 'tempermental' phase where one day, he loves a certain food, and the next won't even look at it, so we are not quite there in establishing the regularity with which he'll eat something, but I kow we'll get there.

6) Do A Pantry Audit

Does your pantry look like the cookie/cracker aisle of a grocery store? If you are trying to improve your child's picky-eating, then you need to get rid of the culprits. They won't insist on eating gold fish if they're not constantly in the house. 

7) Creatively Hide Nutritious Foods and Make Healthier Versions of Store-Bought

In this day and age of Pinterest, and a huge clean-eating movement, it's so easy to find healthier substitutions for just about any guilty pleasure. Your child will only eat sweet foods? Sneak spinach/kale/spirulina in their smoothies. Make black bean brownies, banana ice cream, whatever you need to do. I make my own granola so they get their sweet cereal fix but it's a healthier version of what I would find in the store. My toddler won't eat steamed veggies on their own but when we chop them up and mix them in with brown rice, he'll happily shovel it down. My mom also happens to be the best dumpling-maker on the planet and sneaks a ton of veggies into the filling so the kids don't realize how much they are eating. There are neverending opportunities to sneak in nutrient-dense foods.

8) Include Them in the Meal-Prep Process

Kids love to copy their parents, and this is no different when cooking is the activity at hand. If they are invested in the process, they are more likely to try the fruits of their labor (no pun intended). Something as simple as letting them sprinkle rosemary on the potatoes, putting the fruits and veggies into the Vitamix before you blend up your smoothie, or sprinkling the cinnamon on the granola mixture can generate a lot of curiousity and interest on their part. 

9) You Don't HAVE to Order From The Kid's Menu 

There is no reason that you can't order from a regular menu. My kid's have always loved soup, so I tend to order that and have them split 1 portion before I look at the hot dog/grilled cheese options. 

10) When All Else Fails, Bribe Bribe Bribe

If left to their own devices, my children would eat sugary cereals, cookies, lollipops, and pizza/pasta on a regular basis. Getting them to agree to healthy options can still involve a bit of negotiation and bribery. There have been MANY instances of "if you want to eat that, then eat this first". This has been especially useful when we are out at a birthday party where the meal looks a little something like chicken nuggets/fries/juice, followed by candies from a pinata, followed by cake, followed by a goodie bag with additional treats in it. If possible, I'll grab some raw veggies and tackle my sugar-filled child with the ultimatum that they cannot eat a slice of cake unless they compensate with some healthier foods first. He is so accustomed to this, he doesn't even think twice about accepting carrot sticks and broccoli. 

So there you have it, my simple-but-effective list of ways to make your child a healthier eater. Come find us next week, where I'll be sharing some of my kid's most-requested recipes. 

Do you have any tips and tricks to convince your little one to eat better? Share them in the comments!

photo courtesy of: @organicfoodforkids

Last week I went into great detail about why I won't be throwing elaborate birthday parties for my children. For those who find themselves in my camp, I am creating a roundup of alternative birthday party ideas so you can still celebrate your little one's special day without going too crazy or emptying your bank account. 

1. Camping Birthday 

So, if you read last week's post, you know that there was no way I was escaping this year without throwing some sort of party for my 4 year old son. My husband started taking Andrew camping a few months ago, along with some coworkers and their kids (the mom's all stay home and get a night off!), and mentioned that they were due for another trip. Light bulb! I decided I was going to send some food to feed everyone, stick a candle in a s'more and voila! The birthday 'party' was planned.

The advantage to this kind of gathering is that A) camping is not for everyone so it's easy to keep the headcount to a small group - we even included age-appropriate siblings and still only had 13 kids total.  B) a wide open space like a campground naturally encourages the kids to just run around and play together, therefore additional entertainment isn't necessary. We made sure to pick a non-holiday weekend so the site wouldn't be crowded and there was a small entrance fee per vehicle but no additional charge to stay overnight. Activities such as footballs, soccer balls, and glow sticks got packed, and my husband handed out kites to each child as their party favor. For food I sent: hotdogs and hamburgers for the kids, chorizos for the adults, roasted potatoes (I cooked them ahead and sealed them in aluminum so they could just get reheated on the campfire), fruit, salad, granola bars, juice, water, beer, and pre-made pancakes/coffee for breakfast. Each child also received a brown lunch bag with s'mores kits and i just sent the extras for the adults. All parents were notified what to expect, and what we were providing via group chat about 10 days before in case they had questions. 

Even though it ended up pouring like the world was coming to an end, the party was a success. The kids loved getting out of the city and having all that green space to run around in and more importantly, it was a serious bonding opportunity to be with their dad's in a place where internet and reception were almost nonexistent. Most of the mom's got a night off which made them really happy (I kept my 2 year with me so I was still #momlife-ing it). Pro-tip: if the weather is a bit unpredictable in your area like it is in ours, make sure there are a couple seasoned campers who can keep a fire going in the rain, otherwise, you'll have to turn back and try another time. For those that find camping is just too much of a commitment for (myself included), just nix the overnight portion and make an afternoon out of it. Here's a list of all the campgrounds in the US and Canada. 

2. Boxed Lunch Birthday 

I love this idea as a watered-down birthday party. You can still create a theme and go as crazy or keep it as simple as you would like, but the idea is that you invite a few close friends over (or to a park) and just serve lunch. Each child  receives a boxed lunch at their place setting (pick a cute lunch box like these and fill it with whatever you like- a sandwich, fruit, crackers, yogurt, etc)  and maybe a small party favor like hotwheels for a cars theme. The children have lunch together, gifts get opened, cake gets cut, maybe a mini play-date ensues, and voila! Everyone leaves. Short and sweet, but still a way to make a child feel special on their day while throwing an easy party. The best part is that you can look to google or pinterest for almost any theme, extract a few small elements to give your birthday lunch some detail, and still skip the balloon arch, custom cake toppers and signage, dessert station, etc. I love this back-to-school theme picnic that could easily translate to a birthday lunch in the park. 

3. A Movie Date

Again, very straightforward. Invite a small group of friends for a group movie viewing. I know this one can add up since movie's aren't exactly the most economical choice, especially once you add in concessions, but this can easily translate to a dollar movie theater in your area if budget is the main concern (for me, I am happy to pay up for a convenient and stress-free experience like this). Afterward, head to a local ice cream parlor or bakery to sing and eat dessert. You can also recreate this experience at home by creating your own simple concession stand with various packages of candies, individual bowls of popcorn (or serve in these retro popcorn boxes), and small bottles of water, juice, etc. then serve a dessert after the movie is finished. 

4. Rent a Hotel Room

This will really apply to small groups of 3 or less unless you are will to pay additional charges or upgrade to a suite, but find a hotel that has a great pool in your area and let the kids have a pool party. Order pizza or whatever your favorite takeout is and bring in your own cake/cupcakes. If you really want to splurge, go ahead and order room service. There is something about having ordinary experiences, like eating dinner, that just feel elevated when you experience it in a hotel. You can also opt to make it a slumber party, or just have parents pick everyone up before bedtime, and enjoy the remainder of your staycation. To stay organized on this, learn all the hotel's rules/policies: how many are allowed, their noise policy, pool rules, hours, and safety measures, plus reminders to bring bathing suits/flip flops, etc and print a copy of all this information for the other parents. It's best to avoid any issues by keeping everyone on the same page from the get-go. 

5. A Nail/Hair Party

This may be more applicable to a group of girl's (although I wouldn't think twice to send my son if he was interested). Find a salon or spa that offers fun services like nail art manicures or blowouts and braids (just make sure any spot you choose has proper ventilation). The head out for an ice cream sundae or cupcake after.  Super simple but definitely a pampering experience. If you want more of an organized party experience, there are day spa's popping up that specifically cater to hosting children birthday group's, such as this one, but expect to pay a base package rate and additional costs for increased number of guests, add-on services, etc. 

6. Throw a Beers 'n' Babies Party

A 'fancy' term for inviting close friends and their children over but add in a birthday cake. I actually have a friend who started this tradition in the name of craving those familial connections that most of us don't have as expats living overseas, and it turned into such a fun Sunday tradition (miss you SGS). It was basically boozy brunch for the adults and the kid's all played together. Appetizers were kept simple- think cheeseboard, quiche, pastries, and plenty of beer/wine/champagne. The vibe was always super-relaxed (it usually lasted several hours so there was a window for people to come/go as they pleased). If it fell near one of the kid's birthdays, we sang and cut a cake as well. It doesn't get more basic than this, but in a world where we always intend to get together, this really took the effort out of it. 

7. Offer an experience instead

For older children that are starting to take on decision-making, offer them a choice! They may be more interested in a day of fun with their parents all to themselves versus a 2 hour birthday party with friends. You can keep it simple (day at the museum, lunch, movie, etc) or go all-out with a Disney trip, a weekend in NYC, an island vacation at a kid-friendly destination, and the best part is, it's a great excuse for a getaway! 

There are so many creative ways to throw your child a memorable birthday celebration and I hope this inspires you to think outside of the party box that now includes event planners, branding, custom cakes, and theme-everything. While we will continue to enjoy attending these over-the-top soirees, I think we'll be using this list as inspiration for ourselves in the years to come and really keeping it simple. 

Have you thrown an alternative birthday party for your child? Tell us! We wanna hear in the comments.

photo credit: project nursery blog 

To say that there is a vast difference between the birthday parties I had/attended as a child and the parties thrown for children today would be an understatement. I literally remember my birthday cakes coming from the grocery store cooler case, with the price sticker still intact on top of the clear plastic domed lid. Themes? Nope. Entertainment? Possibly a round of pin the tail on the donkey. Every once in a while a piñata would be involved but that was as crazy as it got. 

While I enjoy attending a Pinterest-threw-up-here-event, be it a wedding, a dinner party, a baby shower, etc (mainly for the Instagrammability factor, obviously), I in no way, shape, or form am interested in being a Martha Stewart-level entertainer. I'm just not a very efficient person who can do it all and I know my limits. I left my child alone in the crib this morning while I spent 15 minutes attempting to not look like a sleep-deprived crazy person, and came back to what can only be described as a scene of utter and complete carnage. Let's just say it looked like my son had gone to town on a chocolate cake...except there was no chocolate cake involved. I'll just leave you with that. But, I digress- my point is, I can barely keep it together with my current set of responsibilities and planning any type of event is so much additional work that I could only take it on if I was willing to let something else suffer- like spending time with my kids or working on my business.

Enter my 4 year old son. These last 6 months, he has truly learned what a birthday party is as he not only attended many, but started developing concrete ideas as a result. When he started talking about what he wanted for his birthday party 2 months in advance, I knew I wouldn't just be able to serve a cake in the house anymore and call it good.

While the parties we attend may be a bit extreme (we live in an urban setting in a very upscale neighborhood), they are typically a combination of the following:

-held in the party room of a luxury apartment building or at a country club that may or may not be 45 minutes away

-themed everything down to the color-coordinated linens, custom-labeled water bottles, and modern floral arrangements in the party color palette

-every inflatable possible- balloon arches and bounce houses, as well as some sort of playground because most building's have a kid's zone

-broadway show-level entertainment, complete with a full cast reenacting said theme's disney interpretation (for boys it's cars, toy story, and paw patrol, for girls- pick a princess and make sure your daughter wears the princess gown of her choice, because it is just a given that she just happens to have 10 in her closet).

-a sit-down plated meal of chicken nuggets and fries served by hired waitstaff, obvi.

-a piñata filled with prizes

-a custom layer cake complete with fondant figures

-a goody bag filled with more prizes and candies

-the event coordinator who oversees the entire production

And we haven't even gotten to the cost portion of it. While I am a bit practical and can't really wrap my brain around spending $500+ for a 3 year old, this mom's informal Facebook poll showed that most parents are ok spending this. 

With that being said, I do have friends who go overboard in throwing birthday parties for their kid's and I support them 1000% because they actually love the process. And for a party-goer, it's really fun to attend for the eye-candy factor alone. It's just never going to be my thing, and I don't think my children will feel like they've missed out on anything as a result. 

So, back to that 4 year old...what did we end up doing? Tune in next week when I post a roundup of althernative birthday party ideas.

What do you think about throwing extravagant parties for small children? Leave your thoughts in the comments below:)

Mother's Day is coming up fast and that means wishlist time! Personally, I think that I am the easiest person to shop for as I truly love everything from a chic candle to a serious, keepsake piece of designer jewelry, but not everyone falls under that category. Below, I listed some products that are a little more off-the-beaten-path than your average bouquet of flowers and chocolates (although, those are certainly always welcome!), yet are surefire ways to make mom smile.

 1. Mignonne Gavigan Earrings, $125 -the most fun, edgy-yet-wearable accessories that instantly elevate any jeans/tee shirt combo 

2. Vintner's Daughter Active Botanical Serum, $185- I have yet to hear anything less than an evangelical review of this wonder serum. Even though it's a bit of an investment, I'm ready to see what all the hype is about!

3. Chanel Boy Bag from The Real Real, $4000- As long as we're wishing, I'm going for it hard. I have been lusting after a red boy since I had an unexpected encounter with Zanna Rassi carrying hers while we were both shopping in Buy Buy Baby. It was love at first sight! 

4. Color Me Floral, $24- my love of florals has no color limits, but there is something especially chic and sophisticated about a monochromatic arrangement.

5. Loeffler Randall Heel, $495- These bedazzled heels are just the ticket to dress up an LBD.

6. Luna Skye Ring from Ring Concierge, $1100- Traditionally, Mother's Day is a huge jewelry-gifting holiday, and I for one am not about to go against tradition. Lately, I've really been coveting the idea of a signet ring- traditional or modern both work for me, but I must admit I love the cool twist on this one with stars and moon motif.

7. LoveShackFancy Dress, $395- this clothing line is my spirit animal. I'll take one of everything! 

8. Family Cameo Print, $75-$175- For a slightly quirkier take on a traditional keepsake family photo.

9. Produce Tees Pineapple Shirt, $35- this is actually a line of maternity tops bearing the fruit that correspond to the appropriate number of weeks pregnant (perfect idea for the mom-to-be). Despite my non-pregnant status, this pineapple was just too cute and smile-inducing to pass up! There is also an adorable matching watermelon tee/onesie set for mama and bebe. 

10. Paris Picnic Club, $19- Imagine that your friend is a crazy talented chef that  co-authored a gorgeous collection of recipes based on her time in Paris, where a weekly picnic turned into a pop-up restaurant. Oh, and manages to create all the dreamy illustrations...while pregnant! You #humblebrag all about it and put it on your Mother's Day list asap.

Leave a comment below with the ways you're planning on celebrating Mother's Day this year!

Sometimes we all need to shift our mindsets to view things from a different perspective and this is especially true when delving into the world of entrepreneurship. For some people, they inherently possess that entrepreneurial trait and make the transition into self-employment pretty seamlessly- it's not a matter of 'if' so much as 'when'. For others though, it can happen more unexpectedly. If anyone had told me 10 years ago that I would currently be living in South America with my husband and children while launching my own business with a former coworker, I could have NEVER believed it. I planned to graduate college, get a job with a major corporation, and stay put for as long as possible. Stability outweighed any need to chase my dreams and 'finding my passion' wasn't something I as a non-millenial had ever been preached. 

Fast forward and so many unexpected changes occurred that ultimately led to the creation of Nona. Along the way there have been many start/stops, bumps, obstacles, high-highs and low-lows and plenty of this-is-never-going-to-happen's. One thing I've realized as I've grown/evolved is how connected the mind-body is. Visualization of my dreams, focusing on putting positive energy out in the world, and constantly talking myself off the ledge are all habits that I've had to create in order to get this far. And sometimes it's just hearing a piece of advice that is so meaningful, it actually helps me change my perception of any given situation. In this post, I am sharing some pearls of wisdom that  have really stood out and truly helped me to keep my eyes on the prize.  

1) Will + Intention + Discipline 

I had the pleasure of working with Mona Bijoor at Ann Taylor LOFT before she  went on to create and head up JOOR, the largest online marketplace serving the wholesale industry, while raising 2 children. I recently read an interesting article Mona wrote on preparing the body and mind for entrepreneurship, and the idea of combining will+intention+discipline really stuck with me. 

"The mind is a better servant than a master. We need to train it to think a certain way, and if we don’t, our mind is left to its own devices. It can latch on to our insecurities, fears, and anxieties. So we actually have to provoke intention. Without this, our subconscious is left to think whatever it wants — positive OR negative. 

Intention — which is something you want to accomplish today or over a long period of time, alone is very powerful. It sends a message to your subconscious mind, a mantra that gets replayed even when you’re sleeping.

When we add will and discipline to the equation, we’re able to turn intention into a reality. If I set the intention to meditate every day for ten minutes, that may or may not happen. I need will and discipline to manifest my goal. Will is really just self belief. Without discipline, I won’t receive the full benefits of meditation unless I do it consistently. The discipline part is setting my alarm at 6 am, getting organized, putting my headphones near my bed, picking out my guided meditation, listening to it and then zoning in. Doing this over and over improves my subconscious to handle more difficult tasks in other areas of my life."

This is hardly rocket science. If you want to lose weight, you must set the goal, and then combine diet and exercise consistently in order to see it through. The same goes for starting up a business. Social media posts don't just happen by themselves. Neither does bookkeeping, factory visits, website copy, photoshoots, packing and shipping orders, etc. It's a very easy trap to fall into the 'tomorrow' game and at moments when I've been exhausted putting the kids to bed, this has been a great reminder to revisit my to-do list. 

2) Planning & Priorities

While we definitely DO NOT support the scandal that erupted around her these last few weeks, one thing that we cannot take away from digital fashion entrepreneur Miroslava Duma is her ambition and drive in building her empire. The founder of digital company Buro24/7, it's luxury lifestyle and fashion platform Buro247.com, and now the head of Future Tech Lab- a sustainable fashion incubator and VC, clearly knows a thing or 2 about priorities as she balances everything on her plate in addition to raising 3 small children. 

“I believe that the more you do the more you can manage,” says Mira. “The most important thing is planning and prioritization: I always have my top five priorities and say no to everything that doesn’t get me closer to one of them.”

When you take away all the noise of daily life and think of things this way, it does truly break everything down into manageable actions because there is more space around them. In the past, I have had a tendency to do things out of obligation or because I would feel bad if I didn't agree with someone else's idea. One of the advantages to maturing is the ability to feel your best being your authentic self and that means practicing the word no, which in turn, frees you up to focus on your priorities. 

 3) Progress Not Perfection

This has maybe been the biggest learning lesson for me as I am a perfectionist, but to the point of paralysis and inaction. Starting a business is like having a child. There will never be a perfect time, where everything is in alignment and  progresses perfectly without any hiccups, or unforeseen costs. I am deathly afraid of overpromising and underdelivering but in the business world, sometimes you just have to put that target out there in the universe and do everything you can to meet it. If that's not possible, beg for a little forgiveness, then keep on trucking. Once I stopped and looked around, I saw that I am hardly the only one that may be guilty of this- think about how many Kickstarter's you have backed that promised deliveries by a certain timeframe. I would say that in my experience, every project has ended up an average of 4 months behind schedule. 

This article from Entrepreneur magazine highlights Ashley Lucas, the current director of the Babson College Women Innovating Lab program, and she had this advice to offer:

Accelerate progress by letting go of perfection: treat incremental progress as the only pathway to innovation. “At the WINLab, we teach our entrepreneurs to use a Babson pedagogy called Entrepreneurial Thought and Action. The approach prescribes experiments, prototypes, and gathering feedback to continuously build a better version based on what their customers want,” she says.

There's a reason that companies like Apple release updated, improved versions of their products every year. If they waited until they created the most perfect product, we'd never know the iPhone. While you always want to put your absolute best foot forward, at the end of the day, progress not perfection.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and strategies you use to stay sane in the crazy world of working, parenthood, or running your own business!